When two people have been in a relationship for some time, their sex life can become stale or even non-existent. The biggest killer of passion in a relationship isn’t really stress or outside pressures, but a lack of variety. Try these six ideas and see if it doesn’t bring a renewed vibrancy back to your sex life:
- Try a different location. If you have always made love in your bed for the last ten years, then a change of scene is definitely something you should try. It could be in another room in the house, how about the bathroom (preferably during or after a long warm bath together)? Or you could try somewhere really exotic, like outdoors (on the beach or in a secluded spot in a forest). It may take a bit of organization, but it would definitely be worth it.
- Commit to trying new things. Sit down and brainstorm with each other to make a list of all the adventures, fantasies, and other things that come to mind. Then for each item, ask yourself how curious you might be to try it. Then start ticking them off the list; many relationships have been renewed by creating a “wish list” of sex.
- Book a ‘passion night’ once every fortnight. As we age and family and career commitments increase, it’s very difficult to be truly spontaneous. So planning becomes even more important: if you don’t plan, chances are very high, it just won’t happen. By reserving a night well in advance, you can plan the “events” of the night itself and schedule other things around it. Your ‘night of passion’ may be when you make use of your ‘bucket list’.
- Buy some toys. Sex toys have come a long way and are a great addition to a couple’s sex life. Check out an online store or visit your local store for some ideas.
- Watch some erotica. We’re not talking about sleazy, hard porn here. There are some really great and very artistic movies made in the ‘soft porn’ or erotica categories that are both enjoyable and highly stimulating. Two good examples are “Intimacy” and “The Story of O”. A good erotic movie will not only stimulate your hormones, but also generate good conversations about sex.
- Visit a swingers club. They are very interesting places! Far from being seedy or ‘in your face’, most are very tasteful and create an enjoyable evening with a grown-up vibe. You will not be under any pressure to ‘do’ anything. You’ll also often find a bar or other area where you can meet interesting people without the sex being too obvious.
Above all, realize that if you want to spice up your love life, you have to put some effort into it. Try these six ideas as a good start.