Letter writing can be tricky. Sometimes it is difficult to know where to start. I’ve always found that if you think about the big picture of what your songs are trying to say, it will be easier for you to try to get your message across. One way to do this is to answer a few questions before the pen touches the paper.
A while ago, I took a lyrical writing workshop with Pat Pattison, who is a professor of lyrical writing at Berklee College of Music. He had some of the students play his songs and then go over his lyrics with them. Many times, when he felt the handwriting getting fuzzy, he would ask three rhetorical questions about the student’s work:
1. Who is speaking?
2. Who is he (or she) talking to? AND
3. Why?
Since that workshop, I have asked myself these questions before writing any song. The reason is that these questions help you think about the big picture of your song, similar to what I discussed in the previous paragraphs.
If you still don’t understand why asking yourself these three questions could make or break your lyrics, let’s look at a real-world example, in the song (alternatively known as) “Forget You” by Cee Lo Green. I will argue that of the three questions raised above, two of them are clearly defined throughout the song. Are:
1. Who is speaking? In this song, it’s a boy who lost his girl.
3. Why (are you talking to her)? He’s jealous, angry, and still wants her back.
When we go through all the lyrics, you’ll see that those two answers ring true consistently throughout the entire song. But the answer to the second question no:
2. Who are you talking to?
The answer to this question varies throughout the lyrics and keeps us from getting into the song as much as we can. You will notice that for most of the song, he is talking to the girl. Your ex. But there are two lines in the song that are aimed directly at the girl’s new boy. They are these two lines:
I see you driving through town with the girl that I love and I’m like,
Forget you
I guess the change in my pocket was not enough.
Forget you and forget about her too
If you wanted to get super technical, we could even argue that along the line “I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough”, you are talking to yourself or the listener directly. But in the absence of more confusion, we’ll group that line with the things she’s saying to the groom.
You could say “okay, so what? It’s only two lines in the whole song. It’s barely noticeable.” Well the problem is that these two lines happen in the chorus, so we constantly come back to them throughout the song. The perspective of who you are talking to changes, causing our minds to lose focus on what is happening and who you are talking to. On top of that, the song starts with these two lines, so we start listening to the song with the expectation that it’s talking to the girl’s new guy. But then for most of the song, it isn’t.
We’ll see.
Chorus
(talking to the new boyfriend)
I see you driving through town with the girl that I love and I’m like,
Forget you
I guess the change in my pocket was not enough.
Forget you and forget about her too
(talking to ex-girlfriend)
I said if I was richer I’d still be with you
Ha, isn’t that bullshit?
And even though my chest hurts, I wish you the best with a …
Forget you!
Pour 1
(still talking to ex-girlfriend)
Yeah sorry I can’t afford a Ferrari
But that doesn’t mean I can’t get you there.
I guess it’s an Xbox and I’m more Atari,
But the way you play is not fair.
I pity the fool who falls in love with you
I have some news for you
Yeah run and tell your little boyfriend
Chorus
(talking to the new boyfriend again)
I see you driving through town with the girl that I love and I’m like,
Forget you
I guess the change in my pocket was not enough.
Forget you and forget about her too
(talking to ex-girlfriend again)
I said if I was richer I’d still be with you
Ha, isn’t that bullshit?
And even though my chest hurts, I wish you the best with a …
Forget you!
Verse 2
(still with ex-girlfriend)
Now I know I had to borrow
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to hold you back, trying to please you.
Because being in love with your butt is not cheap.
I pity the fool who falls in love with you
I have some news for you
I really hate your ass right now
Chorus
(talking to the new boyfriend again)
I see you driving through town with the girl that I love and I’m like,
Forget you
I guess the change in my pocket was not enough.
Forget you and forget about her too
(talking to ex-girlfriend again)
I said if I was richer I’d still be with you
Ha, isn’t that bullshit?
And even though my chest hurts, I wish you the best with a …
Forget you!
Bridge
(still with ex-girlfriend)
Now baby baby baby why you wanna hurt me so bad
I tried to tell my mom but she told me this is one for your dad
Why? Why? Why, ma’am?
I love you
I still love you
Chorus
(and once again to the new boyfriend)
I see you driving through town with the girl that I love and I’m like,
Forget you
I guess the change in my pocket was not enough.
Forget you and forget about her too
(talking to ex-girlfriend again)
I said if I was richer I’d still be with you
Ha, isn’t that bullshit?
And even though my chest hurts, I wish you the best with a …
Forget you!
Wow, those two little lines, they sure made a lot of waves throughout the entire letter, didn’t they? I had the question “Who are you talking to?” asked before the pen hit the paper, all this confusion could have been avoided.
You might be saying … “What are you talking about ?! This song is a hit! A huge Grammy-winning hit! There’s a reason for that, right?” Yes there are. The reason is that in hit songs, the melody rules. This song has a great, singable and memorable melody. No doubt about it. But the lyrics lose some strength due to the confusion of who is being spoken to in the lyrics.
If you are an unknown artist, you want to increase your chances in any way that you can. So ask yourself three simple questions before writing your next song. Then decide if it sharpens the focus of your new songs.