Happy people don’t just wait for luck, they focus on happiness and create it. They know what makes them happy and they get involved in activities that put them in “the zone.” They also give generously of themselves.
Use these 4 techniques to experience more happiness in your life.
1. Prepare to be happy.
Pretend. She decided. Plan to be happy today. What meetings, events and jobs do you have scheduled? How can you enjoy them?
Leadership coach Gayle learned to be happy early on. She grew up on a farm and helped milk the cows and feed the pigs. Every morning, her mother would open the blinds and say, “Today is going to be a great day, Gayle!” Gayle would get out of bed excited, put on her boots, and work on the farm before going to school. One rainy morning, when her mother walked into her room smiling at her daily greeting: “Today is going to be a great day,” Gayle snapped, “No, it’s not! It’s raining!” They went back and forth like this for a few minutes. Then Gayle’s mother turned off the lights and closed the blinds. “You’d better go back to bed. If you’ve already decided it’s going to be a terrible day, it probably will be.” Sure enough, that day turned out to be quite long and boring.
“I really got the message my mom was trying to teach that day,” Gayle recalls. “It has affected my whole perspective on life. Now I focus on making every day a good day and I pass this message on to my students.” Gayle is a very enthusiastic and happy person who loves her work. At her seminars, she hands out rocks painted by her 92-year-old mother that say, “It’s a great day!”
Prepare to be happy first thing in the morning. Review the events of the day in your mind and imagine that you are happy. Some days will be happier than others, but at least you’ll start off on the right foot. That single act of deciding to generate happiness will bring you greater joy.
2. Know what makes you happy.
What makes you *truly, authentically happy? You. Not your family, friends or coworkers. What brightens your day? Take a moment right now to write down 10 things that make you happy. Let your thoughts flow freely. Maybe some things you haven’t done in a long time will show up on your list, like painting with watercolors or playing tennis. A stewardess, Rebecca, is happy with fresh cut flowers, knitting, tending to the garden and walking her two of her dogs. George likes number puzzles, making movies for fun, and going on walks. Big or small, he knows exactly the things that make you happy.
A database administrator applies his recipe for happiness every day. “Laughing makes me happier,” she says. “I try to do it early in the day. I’m done visiting my coworkers and doing my comedy routine and the rest of my day is filled with the vibes of that joy.” Her co-workers also benefit. Her humor is contagious. Because a sense of rapport permeates through the group, coworkers can trust and support each other on projects when needed.
What’s on your list? Prioritize the things that make you happy. Sprinkle on each day. You will benefit. Your family and coworkers will also benefit. And happiness almost always increases productivity.
3. Get involved in what you do.
It is important to do what you love. It’s equally important to find ways to fully participate in what you love to do. Whether it’s knitting, running, or designing a website, find those activities that draw your full attention to them.
A working professional, Jeff finds time to pursue his passion for basketball. “Every Tuesday and Thursday night from 8 to 10 pm, I get together with the guys and play basketball. It’s my escape. During those two hours, I don’t think about anything but cross dribbles, rebounds and jump shots. I lose”. in the moment with the rest of the boys. We don’t talk about what happened that day or what went wrong. It’s therapeutic.”
What activities prevent you from thinking about everything else when you are immersed in them? What things absorb you in the present moment? The key is to find something that you have some skill or mastery at, but also challenges you. The balance between challenge and mastery leads to what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow.” Your brain and body sync up for the optimal experience. It doesn’t matter what the activity is, it only matters that you do it. The more you get into the flow at work, at leisure, and at home, the greater your happiness.
4. Contribute.
How do you like to give? Your life is bigger than just you. When you give of yourself, your gifts, time, and talent, you make a difference to others. Whether it’s a small project at your children’s school or a lifelong commitment to a cause like Hospice or Habitat for Humanity, make an effort to give back to others.
Busy professionals can still find time to contribute. For example, Janice spends one hour a week tutoring a student. John, a full-time civil engineer, volunteers with Save Our Shores. Maya, a working mother, volunteers at fundraisers at her daughter’s school. “I get to use my skills in a way that gives these kids. I have a lot of fun with the projects, I like to get involved, and I see the difference it makes in terms of providing things like art supplies for the kids so they can express their own budding interests.
The contribution can come from how you spend your free time and volunteer hours. It can also come from his chosen profession.
The highest form of giving is when you give freely, expecting nothing in return, rather than giving out of obligation, guilt, or pressure. It is not about giving away so that your name is framed on a plaque. It’s giving for giving, because you care.
What can you do today to increase your happiness? Start by proposing to be happy. Then take a moment to think back and make a list of the things that make you happy and start doing them. Engage in activities that put you in a state of flow, perhaps running, playing music, or sculpting. Also remember to contribute to others, even in simple, everyday ways, like paying the toll for the person riding behind you. Pursue and increase your happiness. You’ll be happy you did.