There is no doubt that no matter what the circumstances are, an adventure is devastating. But it is even worse when the husband seems unable to separate from the other woman or leave her alone. Very often women contact me and ask “how can I get my husband to leave his girlfriend” or “how can I take him away from her when he can’t seem to leave her alone”. Often times, wives who want to attract their cheating husbands again resort to manipulative tactics aimed at making their husbands feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous, but this often just reads as desperation and paints you in a more negative light. Men often don’t have the moral radar or sense of responsibility that women have, so tactics that would work for you or me may not work at all with your husband. In this article, I will tell you what I think is the best way to get your husband to leave the other women while maintaining respect for yourself.
Understand that you probably cannot reason with your unfaithful husband:Many women ask me for advice aimed at “making my husband understand what the affair is doing to me” or “making him see how much the affair is hurting me.” What they don’t understand is that men are not rational thinkers, especially when they are in the middle of an adventure. As difficult as it is to listen, it is highly unlikely that your husband will listen to what you say and respond with, “You know, you’re right. Let me stop this right now.” It’s not fair, but it is.
You may not be able to change your husband’s thought process at this time. And you must understand that it is very likely that you are having an affair to replace something that is missing inside. Notice I said it to himself. Please understand that the fault is within him, not within you. Men cheat because they want to feel desirable, young, alive, competent, and vibrant. And overwhelmingly, this is an emotional need rather than a physical one, despite common perception.
Know that the other woman cannot keep the facade forever: If you don’t take anything else from this article, take this. The attractiveness of the other woman often lies in how she makes her husband feel about himself. It’s not about how he looks or how old he is. It all lies in how the entire low-maintenance package presents itself. She often does this by taking a carefree and untethered approach. She makes no demands. Everything is fine with her. She is completely relaxed and does not require much. But you and I know that no woman can go on like this forever. She is like every woman who presents her best for the first date, but a short time later you will see her in knee-high socks and an old T-shirt and wonder why in the world she risked everything for this. She will start to want to know where he is or demand more of him and suddenly what was so attractive about this relationship will disappear in an instant. A recent survey indicated that nearly 90% of men are very sorry about their affair, so please understand that the odds of your husband regretting this woman are staggering.
The key for you is to know this and bide your time with dignity and respect. Because if you act in a way that is below you or unattractive, then they will both look at you as the poor wife who got the bad deal. And, unfortunately, this is not an attractive image and you are at a distinct disadvantage when this happens.
Turning the tables: As difficult as it may seem at first, you need to take care of yourself out of this whole thing. If your husband is acting like a complete jerk, that’s really his problem, not yours. Put him on the back burner until he realizes his ridiculous mistake and crawls back. Focus on yourself. See your friends. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Get yourself a new wardrobe or hairstyle. Don’t wait for him and make sure he knows this. But don’t add another mistake to the situation and fool yourself. This will only make things worse and make you feel more confused.
What she’s really trying to achieve is a scenario that unfolds just as her husband comes to his senses. And when he looks your way, he sees an attractive, confident, graceful, self-respecting woman who is honestly too good for him right now. Whether you decide to accept it or not is entirely up to her. But she’s not going to put herself down by chasing him down or rewarding his unfortunate behavior. Instead, she will allow him to catch her, if she chooses.