Step one: collect information. Jot down as many personal notes about the deceased as possible. Look at photos. Flipping through photo albums can remind you of important qualities and memories of the person who died. Answer a few questions: What made your loved one really happy? What inspired you to write this eulogy? What were your loved one’s passions? What will you remember most about this person? Keep in mind that a eulogy is not a biography, but rather your personal thoughts and recollections from his point of view. You may want to ask co-workers, friends, and others for their stories and memories. You should see some repetition in your notes and this will lead you to the main topic.
Step Two: Start organizing your content. Summarize the compliment in these steps:
I. A start to establish your theme.
II. A middle section to develop your theme with personal stories, information, quotes, comments, sayings, poems, and other content. This information should constitute 90% of the compliment.
third A brief conclusion to summarize your thoughts and reaffirm your theme.
Step Three: Work on the middle section first (Part II). Once you have this part, the beginning and the summary will be easy. Build your outline by grouping similar topics from your notes in Step 1. For example, you may want to collect all of your achievements. Combine comments on the life philosophy of the deceased person.
Step Four: Organize the Conclusion (Part III). A conclusion reminds listeners of the topic and imprints the strong feeling you have about the loss. The key is to conclude effectively and quickly.
Here is an example:
“We’ll all miss Jackie’s sense of humor, her knack for knowing what’s really important in life, and her famous chocolate chip cookies” (a little humor never hurts as long as it’s not offensive to anyone).
“His example lives on as an inspiration for us all to follow.”
Step Five: Write the beginning of the eulogy (Part 1). This usually starts with an attention getter. It will establish the theme and can be in the form of a story, a poem, a saying, the lyrics of a song. It will present the goal and theme you used when you started the process.
Sixth step: polish it. Your best option is to get away from him for a few hours or overnight if possible. Work on it so it sounds like a conversation. You want to speak to the audience as naturally as possible.
Key tip:
Step Seven: Deliver the eulogy. While speakers don’t normally read word for word, because you’re likely to get emotional, don’t be afraid to read word for word. This way you won’t miss any key points that you or others would like to make.
If making eye contact with audience members will excite you, try keeping your eyes on the page or looking just above the audience towards the back of the room.
Feel free to pause, take a deep breath, and drink some water. Everyone will understand. They are also emotionally distracted.
Speak as naturally as possible, as if you were telling someone about your loved one. Talk loud. It is very important that you speak clearly and loudly so that everyone can hear you.
Keep the written eulogy as a keepsake. You can add it to your chest of memories and share it with others who would like a copy.
By following these steps, writing and delivering a eulogy will be less stressful and more of a healing process.