Stress is a different phenomenon or something the same for each child / adult. To some extent, we are conditioned to believe that stress is bad and that there is a solution in one product: Calgon bath salts or a lozenge. Of course, we must address the issues that make us feel apprehensive or scared before or after an experience. However, it is best to discuss the experience sooner or later to understand the needs of the child or adult.
More importantly, I recommend avoiding assuming that all stress is bad or that stress will continue. Yes, something can be challenging, but stress is not inherent.
Cautious parents can unknowingly instill their own fear into a child’s psyche. It is also important to avoid projecting your own fear into the child’s experience. Avoid using the words stress or anxious (anxiety). Ask the child how he feels without putting a label on it. And help the child solve problems before and after a new experience.
Children may not experience stress in the same way as adults. For example, they may show anger or irritability in addition to fear and worry.
Parents are understandably concerned about their children’s experiences, but it’s important to know that some childhood stress is common and that with patience, compassion, and communication it can be resolved quickly. Some children take longer to process their feelings. If a child seems to be struggling for more than a few months, they may need to contact a doctor who specializes in holistic mental health protocols.
Let’s talk about common childhood concerns
There are a number of things that commonly cause concern and discomfort to children of different ages. New situations, challenging tasks, and even unfamiliar people can occasionally cause apprehension and discomfort in children.
Other age-appropriate fears include:
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~ Fear of strangers begins between 7 and 9 months of age and disappears around three years.
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~ Fear of the dark, monsters, insects and animals in preschool
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~ Fear of heights or storms in younger school-age children
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~ Worrying about school and friends in older school-age children and adolescents
These common childhood fears often go away on their own as the child grows.
Signs and symptoms of malaise in children
As common as occasional discomfort is common, children who show symptoms of discomfort may behave with:
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~ Anger or aggression, such as yelling, yelling, hitting, tantrum
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~ Avoiding certain situations
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~ Wet the bed
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~ Changes in appetite
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~ Fatigue
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~ Getting into trouble at school
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~ Headaches
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~ Irritability
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~ Muscle tension
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~ Nervous habits such as nail biting, hair pulling
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~ Nightmares
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~ Refusing to go to school
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~ Restlessness
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~ Doesn’t cooperate
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~ Social retreat
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~ Stomach aches
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~ Trouble concentrating
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~ Trouble sleeping
The frequency and occurrence of stress can vary depending on the nature of the situation. Some fears can be triggered by specific situations, objects, or environments.
Other indicators of concern include symptoms that interfere with the child’s ability to learn, interact with peers, sleep at night, or function normally in daily life. Such as:
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Illness or death of a family member or friend
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Birth of a brother
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Divorced
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Community factors
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Being involved in a car accident, home fire, or other physical accidents
Common childhood fears that persist beyond the age when they are expected to be afraid (such as being afraid of the dark or being away from parents after preschool age) are also a cause for concern.
And I’ll close with a little story. When my son was 16 and in his third year of high school, he asked:
“Mom, why are children scared when there is a test?
I do not know. All the world is different. What do you think of the tests?
Sound: I like tests.
Me: What do you like about them?
Sound: Because then I know what I know and what I don’t know. Then I can learn what I don’t know.
Me: How did you decide that?
Sound: Mom !! (incredulous tone of voice) You said that there is nothing to worry about and that everything has a solution.
There is proof in the pudding. Preparing children with a non-worrisome tone of voice or mindset is powerful and empowering.
Every moment is a teaching moment, use it well.