There is nothing more frustrating than feeling trapped in a dead end relationship. Maybe you’re doing it for the kids, or maybe you’re staying because you’re comfortable with your partner. Those are typical reasons for most people, but you, well, aren’t “most people.” Your situation is completely different. You are stuck in your dead relationship because you and your partner have herpes.
You may have given it to him, or it may have been given to you: how you hired him doesn’t really matter, you want out of the relationship but you’re deathly afraid of what single life will bring. Having herpes is hard enough, but having herpes and being in a relationship made you feel safe; now having the virus and the idea of being single is depressing.
First know that you are not alone. You’ve probably heard all the statistics about how many people have HSV-1 or HSV-2, and you’ve probably heard the rant about how it’s “not that bad,” but to you it is, and exposing yourself to a petty, unforgiving public doesn’t it is a task for which he is prepared at this time.
Here are some things for you to think about:
1. Never haggle your happiness: Your ultimate happiness is not a bargaining chip to exchange for something less valuable. Remember the saying: “When you settle for less, you usually get less than you settled for.” Or, as one R&B singer sang, “The things we accept will be the things we regret.” Make no mistake about it, if you stay in your current relationship simply because you’re afraid to venture outside of your comfort zone, you’re making a grave. Your feelings will soon turn to bitterness, resentment, and hatred. Who wants to be in a relationship that is filled with those kinds of negative, life-sucking emotions?
two. Herpes does not define you: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, let us once again remind you that you are NOT alone. There are millions of people with oral and genital herpes, and millions of thousands of single people – looking for love and happiness just like you. If you are full of guilt and shame, you will attract people who feed on and exploit that. If you walk in acceptance, happiness and comfort, people will also reciprocate.
3. You have options: Despite what others have said, regardless of how herpes always seems to be the butt of the joke (no pun intended), you have options. There are thousands of couples where one person in the relationship has herpes and the other does not. Not only that, but there are online dating sites dedicated to helping people with HSV find successful relationships.
Staying in a relationship at the risk of compromising your happiness and complete fulfillment is never a good idea. Don’t be afraid to go out on your own and explore your options.