There was a popular song that came out in 1986 and was recorded by Janet Jackson with the title “What have you done for me lately?” Sit back and let that title sink in in a minute. It could conjure up all kinds of thoughts … Is the writer saying they feel neglected because no one does anything for “them” … or is the writer selfish and demanding and wants more, more and more for THEM? ? Just trying to figure it out could take us all day, but let’s take a different route.
Sometimes we are so caught up in trying to please and do for other people that we put ourselves, our needs, and our wants on the back burner. That’s in our DNA, right? We instinctively try to think of others first and ourselves somewhere … let’s say “LAST!” Is this healthy? Is this automatic? Is this what we feel we have to do because this is how we have always done it?
No – Yes – No. Somewhere, we need to put in a little time, effort and planning for US! If you’ve ever seen the movie in which the girl had low esteem and heard her very good friend say over and over again, “You’re kind, you’re smart, you’re important,” then you know what everyone needs to hear.
How many people are we trying to please? Two? Fifteen? Eighty-five? No matter what number we come up with, our number must be somewhere at the beginning. Caring for ourselves should also be as thorough as caring for and trying to please others. Every day we need to satisfy and nurture our need for exercise and excitement; to rest and relax; for challenge and communication; for a little fun and nonsense and pampering. Without these, we can sink into that routine of the ordinary, simple and boring. Who wants a friend like that?
We are kind! We are intelligent! We are important! What’s more, we must never forget it! Just as the flight attendant always insists that we “take oxygen first”, we must apply it to other aspects and areas of our lives. Most of the people we interact and care with need us to be able to smile, joke around, put a crazy emoji at the end of our text, and most importantly, laugh at ourselves and others.
That, my friends, is friendship! Not only must we be good friends in solidarity with others, but we must first make friends and take care of ourselves. Take your oxygen first !!!
