In the rapidly changing planet we live on, it has become crucial to constantly work on yourself, to love yourself better and better, and this includes erotic self-love. Until recently, personal pleasure has remained among the strongest taboos around the world. Against reason, in many contexts it is even more taboo than homosexuality. Fortunately, tolerance for sexual diversity is increasing overall.
Attitudes about masturbation are loosening, in part because the Internet increases access to sex education and pornography. Now, the forefront of spirituality encompasses not only tantra and Taoist sexual practices, but, most radical of all, conscious masturbation. Although self-pleasure is often demonized or trivialized, this is precisely because, if pursued as a form of self-love, masturbation becomes incredibly powerful.
Despite a legacy of misinformation, we know that masturbation itself cannot harm anyone. Only the guilt and shame that are sometimes associated with it can cause harm. In fact, masturbation is known to be good healthy exercise on all levels, beneficial, and even good practice for other forms of erotic activity. However, it can do much more for you than simply alleviate sexual tension or prevent frustration.
This is a secret that both secular and religious authorities have suppressed for centuries because it means that you don’t really need any intermediary between you and the Source of all things. It is literally in your hands, when you touch yourself with full awareness, with leisurely love, care, and devotion to self-pleasure. This can connect you directly with the Divine.
What does the “conscious” aspect of consciously masturbating mean? It is precisely the opposite of living in your thoughts or in your mental sphere. Mindfulness, as in the Buddhist sense, simply means paying full attention to what you feel. It means not getting lost in fantasy. Become fully embodied; be present here and now. Pay attention and enjoy intensely.
The practice becomes powerful and even transformative when you keep the focus on your own body and your immediate experience. The most important key of all is to do this as a process of loving yourself better and better as you practice. It is also useful for men to learn, not so much to avoid ejaculation, but to choose.
You can’t experience the truly heightened states of ecstasy that become transformative unless you train to absorb erotic energy and allow it to become part of you, rather than throwing it out of your body with frequent ejaculations. Cultivate the energy and absorb it! There are no hard and fast rules to this practice except one: be kind to yourself.
In addition, the practice does not have to be solitary, or only done alone. As long as you maintain a mindful focus, you can share mindful masturbation with a partner or group of friends. This becomes a powerful way to experience your daily life as Heaven on Earth!