After many years of marriage, there are few things that can be more devastating than hearing your husband say that he no longer loves you. While there are many reasons why a man might “withdraw” from a relationship, leading to the point where he can say this. If he wants to make his marriage work and recapture the spark that was once there, he’ll be glad to know there may still be hope.
The first thing you should do is take some time, without reacting further or trying to discuss this with him. Take that time to reflect on your relationship, both past and present. You’ll also want to examine your motivation for wanting to stay together and make it work.
Beware of any reasoning that comes from fear or despair. You may be afraid of being alone, especially if you have been together for many years. You may feel lonely and think that you would not know how to live without it. These are signs of fear and despair, and may be signs that you should bite the bullet and go your separate ways.
If you decide that the reason you’re staying isn’t based on fear and you don’t feel desperate, then it’s probably worth trying to work things out. From here, you’ll want to re-examine your relationship to see what may have happened that brought you to this point. Many men will withdraw from a relationship if they don’t feel respected. Men also tend to crave admiration, and if they don’t get it, they can lose interest.
So, has your relationship changed recently? Have they been drifting apart from each other? Is this new, or something that has been going on for a while? What have you done to contribute to this situation?
That last question may be difficult to answer, but it is essential. No relationship problem occurs in a vacuum, and usually both parties play a major role in it. You shouldn’t focus on him if you want to fix things. However, you must acknowledge the good and bad aspects within your relationship, and particularly him, because you cannot expect him to change for you right now.
What that means is that you will have to focus on the things you do that you can change. By changing your own behavior and trying to provide him with the things he needs within the relationship, you may be able to change his mind and bring back that feeling you thought was gone.