I got an email the other day that started with “My dog got kicked out of daycare today.” It belonged to an owner I knew. She loves her pet and was looking for outlets for her energy. She is a fantastic owner, the type every dog trainer wants to meet. She was bonded with him, committed to her well-being, and loved hearing advice from pet professionals on how to improve her dog’s life.
So he emailed me to find out what he had done wrong. She needed to express her shame with her dog and she wanted to cry on my shoulder (virtually) and figure out what she should do to fix what she considered to be her dog’s problems.
I had a lovely dog with no behavior problems. He was friendly with people, had good house manners, walked very well on a leash, and was absolutely adored by everyone in the family. But there was a problem… his dog was kicked out of daycare today.
My advice to her? “Just don’t go to daycare and don’t go to dog parks.” That is. There is no magic wand to solve a problem. No behavior modification program to force your dog to tolerate the presence of large numbers of other dogs. There’s no litany of tools and tricks you need to use to get him to accept the off-leash environment of play. Just don’t go to daycare or the dog park. That is.
Too often we try to force our pets into environments they may not like. And when we do, the dog suffers. I have seen shy dogs taken to crowded parades. The dog is not happy. I have seen sound sensitive dogs taken to fireworks displays. The dog is not happy. And I’ve seen dogs who don’t particularly enjoy the company of other dogs brought to dog parks and day care centers. The dog is not happy.
Most of the time, these situations occur because well-meaning owners are trying to do things that they think would be fun for their pet. In the excitement of taking the animal to a new place, many owners don’t realize how their dog is responding to the new environment. I recommend watching the dog for clues as to what makes them happy. He watch for slack, wavy body language. If your dog hides, shakes, jumps on you, or seems more nervous than when you’re home, he probably isn’t happy.
Not all dogs like to play off-leash, and that’s okay. It is not a statement about the animal. It’s an environment that just doesn’t fit well. Just as a night at the fireworks is not the best environment for a sound-sensitive dog and a crowded parade is not the best environment for a dog who doesn’t enjoy crowds, an off-leash play environment is not the best. the best place for a dog that does not enjoy playing with other dogs.
When a dog doesn’t do well off-leash, it’s not necessarily a symptom of a problem, or a bad pet, or a pet in need of behavior modification. This could be the case, but more often than not, it’s just a dog that prefers people. He would rather hang out with people he loves than dogs he doesn’t know. He would love to walk in the woods, but he doesn’t like playing off-leash with a group of other dogs. This does not make it bad.
But is this normal? Don’t all dogs want to play with other dogs? Shouldn’t I socialize him to get used to it? I get these questions all the time. The truth is, there are many more dogs that don’t like to play off-leash than love to.
When a pet care professional dismisses your pet from daycare or advises it not to go to the dog park, you should thank them. Thank them for caring more about your pet than making money bringing your dog to their facility if the dog isn’t going to enjoy the off-leash environment. Thank them for seeing your dog as a unique animal with individual temperament traits. Thank them for trying to look after your pet’s well-being and putting your dog’s safety and comfort first.
What if your dog doesn’t like to play off leash? It’s okay. You are not a bad owner and your dog is not a bad dog. Just find other ways to exercise him that don’t involve interacting with other dogs. Go for a walk, go for a hike, give your dog a massage, or try something like agility, RallyO, or nosework. Both of you will have a lot of fun and your dog will be happy.