It All Starts With Attitude: How to Live in a Place Where Excellence Becomes Our Average by Mike Oster is a practical yet inspiring guide to how we can all live happy lives simply by adjusting our attitudes. And who doesn’t need an attitude adjustment? As Mike reveals in these pages, 77 percent of our self-talk is negative, and it’s estimated that between 75 and 98 percent of all mental and physical problems are the result of our negative thinking.
In other words, our attitudes are affecting our lives, and usually not in a positive way. Of course, we cannot go from negativity to positivity in an instant, which is why this book will be a blessing to so many. Just like you can’t become a bodybuilder or a rocket scientist overnight, but need to work at it one day at a time, Start With Attitude gives us tools to strengthen our “attitude muscle” on a daily basis. . basis so that we are better equipped not only to cope, but also to find opportunities in unexpected daily events.
As Mike points out, it’s easy to want to be a positive or optimistic person. It is much more difficult when we are stuck behind a slow driver, when we receive bad news or when we have to deal with irritating people. It is those unexpected situations that arise that take us off our positivity game. But Mike shares how instead of instantly reacting with anger, frustration, or negativity, we can pause and choose to see the opportunity and options before us in a situation. When we learn to pause, we discover, as Mike says, “We have numerous opportunities every day to choose our attitude.” We can do it when the driver in front of us does not turn right at a red light. We can do it when our children do not listen to us. We can do it in countless situations that we can improve just by choosing the right attitude.
Mike goes into all the details of how to make these decisions, and I don’t want to reveal all of his invaluable tools here, but I’ll share that aha moment for me was his discussion of cognitive distortions: This is when you distort what’s real by making assumptions, exaggerating situations, and yes, exaggerating things until we create an atmosphere of negativity. I know I have done this in my own life. For example, I hate when people are late. I have a relative who is always late. When this family member doesn’t arrive on time, I begin to look at him with frustration. By the time the person shows up, maybe just two minutes late, I can be just as mad as if they didn’t show up at all, and I can let them have it too, just a little over two minutes because I’m remembering how long they were twenty minutes late on Christmas, and I haven’t let it go. Fortunately, I’ve learned to get better at this, but my point is that we all do things like this: exaggerate situations to make them much worse than they are. We drop a shattering jar on the floor and act like the world is ending, when we can easily clean up the mess in a few minutes, and maybe here’s an opportunity to learn how to buy plastic instead of glass. going forward.
Mike has numerous stories that he shares on these pages of similar situations and the many times he has been able to see an opportunity in a difficulty, or face his fears to create a positive outcome, or spread positivity in people’s lives simply by doing something like giving thanks. to a waiter for excellent service.
Complimenting people and learning to accept compliments are other ways we can develop a better attitude. Mike believes it’s important to look for opportunities where we can make people feel good. He also points out the importance of accepting compliments on ourselves rather than simply dismissing them, which only makes the complimenter feel bad. He notes that it takes five to seven compliments to overcome the effects of a criticism or insult, so it’s about time we all started complimenting and appreciating each other more verbally.
It Starts With Attitude is full of other helpful stories and strategies, but I’ll finish by mentioning another key part Mike offers on how to improve our attitudes. We are happiest when we feel that we have a purpose, when we are living our intentions, setting goals and seeing how they are fulfilled. Countless authors have talked about goals before, and most of us are familiar with the SMART goals acronym. Mike is a big believer in it, but he has a new spin on SMART goals that are worth reading and applying to our lives by setting those goals that will make our success more likely and consequently our attitude better.
Ultimately, Henry Ford was right when he said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Our attitude determines our success and our happiness. If you want to be happy and successful, I recommend that you read Everything Starts with Attitude. Not only is this a short, quick, and easy read, but you’ll find that your life changes exponentially with the effort you put into applying the tips and tools Mike offers. He won’t be surprised if soon people say, “I like your attitude” and he wants to know how they can get what you have.