Sex dating websites are persuading an increasing number of people, both in and out of relationships, to seek out new experiences with new partners. However, the protagonists find themselves trapped in circular chats of exchanged messages in which pornographic encounters are rehearsed but direct requests to meet are skilfully evaded. A way has been found to generate a sizeable revenue stream from pre-selling credits and it appears that female participants are either well informed or virtual women are created to perpetuate costly and unsuccessful messaging.
These comments are based on an analysis of more than 1,600 alleged messages sent by hundreds of self-described ‘horny women’, none of whom agreed to meet face-to-face, even for a chat over coffee in a public place. All the encounters began with an urgent request for a new sexual partner to alleviate the continuing deprivation. Wonderful favors were promised to the responder. Many women complained of a sexually incompetent or disinterested husband or boyfriend, while those who said they were single reported months of inactivity or recounted how their last encounter was a disaster. Many complained of an unsatisfying experience with a younger man and claimed to be looking for a more experienced older lover who knew how to treat a woman and give her complete satisfaction.
Some themes were repeated with monotonous regularity. ‘I seek revenge on my cheating husband,’ was one, and inviting further sympathy, was the plea: ‘Since my husband’s injury/illness, he has not been able to have sex.’ Some wives claimed to have their husband’s permission to look for new pastures, and some said they were in an ‘open relationship’. Nearly all said they were looking for a ‘friend with benefits’, often shortened to the acronym FWB. Not a few advocated total discretion. However, none of these ladies were ready to commit to a physical meeting and some admitted that their interest was only in talking about sex with a stranger online.
A group of young women, mostly in their early 20s, claimed to be virgins and were envious of their friends having sex with their boyfriends. Although they offered the proverbial ‘lord’s right’, there was little chance that her chastity would be threatened except in the virtual sense. These young women were among the most graphic in describing the delicacies they hoped to enjoy. It was repeated themes like this that raised the suspicion that not only was the sex largely virtual, but that some of the participants were as well. This idea was reinforced by the constant repetition of the same key words and phrases, but this could also be attributed to a pervasive popular culture. However, what is certainly not virtual is the increased profits for the website owners.