What comes to mind when you think of relationships? Is it something you think about when you feel lonely or when the holidays come around? Is being with another person about connection or about feeling good about yourself? What does connect mean? For me, love relationships have been confusing, hurtful, and often fleeting. I have felt a version of love but never a deep feeling of connection and oneness with another. In the past, you had one foot out the door and one foot in, depending on where you wanted to go in life. If you’re tandem jumping out of the plane, you can’t go anywhere with one foot in and one foot out! You are basically stuck in the same place. But now that I am changing and beginning to believe and trust that relationships are joyful, uplifting, and rewarding, I see that it takes a leap of faith to begin the journey together.
Simply put, relationships shouldn’t be about gratifying yourself. Instead, relationships are about your ability to be there for the other person, listening, focusing on someone other than yourself, as well as sharing life experiences. My sister helped me see, through metaphor and correspondence, that Tandem Skydiving is a great analogy for what relationships entail. So when I went skydiving for his birthday in May 2017, he brought up some great metaphors about how being in a relationship, trusting your partner, having faith in your partner and your relationship, and listening to your partner are three of the lessons. more important.
one. Relationships Involve Trust: When you’re about to jump out of a plane, from 10,000 feet in the sky, your skydiving instructor gives you instructions on how to free fall when you jump together…notice I said together and not alone. They are connected by a harness and a way that they are tied to the instructor, they are no longer two people, in a sense now they have become ONE, and it is important that they work together to make the experience fun, enjoyable and not to mention safe. . Security in relationships is more about being able to trust your partner, but you can’t have trust unless you listen to your heart and speak your mind, talking, sharing, communicating is SUPER important to building a strong foundation for your relationships and it’s important even when you’re skydiving in tandem! So first and foremost, your skydiving buddy will always make you feel like you can trust him, because he is open and honest about what to do when jumping. He wants you to have a good time and have a great experience. He has put your needs first, this is a great sign that you are on the right path!
two. Relationships, like in tandem skydiving, involve Faith: All life and trying new things involves an act of faith. I wouldn’t say it any other way because I’m a spiritual person and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t have my faith in God, in a higher power and in something greater. I’ve been through enough brushes and near misses in life, not living in my car and not knowing where the next day would take me, to know that my faith is a HUGE part of how I move through life. Needed faith when it comes to dating. Now, faith is not about being blind or deaf to the warning signs of a partner who is abusive or hurtful. That is stupidity and irrationality. But you can put your faith in your partner once he begins to prove himself worthy of your trust. When dating and in a relationship, this means getting to know the person by being around them in public, more than once a week, traveling together, and lots of communication!
3. listening to your partner means being able to let him take the reins! This is huge to me, but notice how it comes after trust and faith. It is not the first step to meet someone because you need to develop a relationship first.
Now when you are skydiving in tandem, you are actually trusting and listening to your partner right away! You don’t have the luxury of taking your time getting to know them, their job is to make you feel immediately safe because you’re about to jump out of the sky. But the key here is that you have to listen to his instructions, or else you won’t do well in this adventure. This is the same as listening to your partner’s needs, wants, and wishes regarding being a good friend. It’s not about selfish needs, selfish wants, selfish desires. To have a relationship based on love, trust and mutual faith, you must listen to your partner, not judge, criticize or condemn. When you are flying through the air and the parachute is pulled again you have to adjust to your new environment, you are no longer in free fall so now you are floating and if he wants he can leave you in charge of the queen while you float down.
I learned from jumping out of a plane that skydiving is a great example of how important it is to build trust and faith in your relationship so that you can work through life together, when you fly through the sky!