It’s that time of year when the conversation around the parsonage table is all about the good or the bad.
I must admit that it is not my favorite conversation because what is bad and what is good? It all depends on who you’re talking to. The Gracious Mistress of the Parochial House has a different definition of these words than I do.
According to my wife, the good has to do with the broccoli and the bad has to do with the apple fritter.
I’m afraid I have to disagree with this because, as far as I’m concerned, the good has to do with the apple fritter and the bad has to do with the broccoli. I’m not sure you can get naughtier than broccoli. At least I can’t.
But this time of year, the definition of naughty and nice is determined by an overweight guy who lives in the North Pole and abuses reindeer. If you think I’m going to listen to his definition, you don’t know me.
I don’t want Santa determining if I’m bad or good because I don’t trust that guy.
Why would I want to trust a guy who only works one day a year and the rest of the time lives somewhere in the North Pole? He is almost, but not quite, as bad as the politicians. But at least Santa works one day a year.
“So,” my wife began, “do you think you’ve been nice this year?”
As a husband for nearly half a century, I know a trick question when it’s presented to me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been tricked by one of these questions.
“Well,” I stammered, “how do you think my year went?”
He was willing to put it back on her shoulders and let her go with him. My wife is an expert in many things and, in particular, in interrogation. Me, I’m an expert at failing interrogations.
Throughout life I have learned that what really matters is not what I think, but what others think of me in particular. It’s not whether I think I was nice last year, but whether my wife thought I was nice.
Looking at me very thoughtfully as she usually does when questioning me, she said, “Well, there was that incident earlier in the year about a gecko on my pillow.”
It was all I could do to hold back a giggle. I remember very well that incident in a motel in St. Augustine. I can still see that lizard looking at my wife.
“You have to admit,” I explained, “that the lizard was a pretty cute little creature.”
“If that’s your definition of nice,” he said firmly, “then you’ve failed the test.”
I wouldn’t say this out loud so he could hear me, but that was a test I enjoyed failing.
After pausing for a moment or two, he said, “Then there’s the incident with the bug on my leg while I was driving.”
Although I tried to contain any outward expression of laughter, it was beyond my control.
“So do you think it was a good thing that bug was on my leg, causing me to crash into the car in front of me?”
I had almost forgotten, but no one was hurt in the incident.
“What does nice have to do with that kind of bug on my leg?”
Then, to my surprise, she started laughing too.
For some people, what is pleasant is not pleasant for other people. What is bad is not necessarily bad in another person’s estimation.
All of these things that she brought to my attention were not something that I worked on. It was something that came without any influence on my part. My part was to laugh about the incident and enjoy it for the next few weeks.
When the room quieted down, I finally posed my question.
“So,” I began, “do you think you’ve been nice this year?”
The tables were turned now, and I wanted to press her with some of my interrogations.
I’m not a very good interrogator, particularly when it comes to matters involving my wife. But I figured since she brought up the subject, she’d take it on and see where she took us.
He stared at me for quite a while and then said, “I think I’ve been too nice because I’ve given you so much material to write about.” Then she looked at me with one of “those looks”.
First, I didn’t quite know how to take it. She was afraid that her NICE was turning into his NAUGHTY, and she wouldn’t be able to handle that.
After a few moments of silence, he laughed. I was relieved, to say the least.
We enjoyed a few moments of shared laughter, which made our day very happy. As I thought about it, there was another nice aspect to our relationship.
That nice aspect is that my wife is not a writer, or she would be in trouble.
Later that day, I thought of the Bible verse. “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).
Our relationship is not based on right or wrong, but on the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior.