I remember being younger and getting confused when people told me that hating others is hating yourself. I clearly remember a friend telling me “Well, if you don’t like what he’s been doing it’s because it reminds you of yourself.“
I remember being extremely against this philosophy, because a lot of the people I didn’t like at the time were very, very, VERY different from me.
For example, I’ve always been someone who values being polite and following social mores (like saying “please” and “thank you”), and therefore rudeness used to throw my gears into overdrive.
So, I would think, how could my hatred for this rude behavior have anything to do with myself?
Today, however, I have aligned myself more with the idea that “to hate others is to hate yourself.” I have taken a much broader perspective on this idea than I ever had.
I don’t think we hate others because we ourselves necessarily reflect the same behavior that we dislike. Instead, I think that hating others is hating yourself because the others are you and you are the others.
Let me explain…
From my point of view, and the point of view of many in the field of consciousness these days, we are all interconnected to one great source of consciousness. I believe that each of our lives are simply different perspectives on this great consciousness, but we are all ultimately one in the same.
For example, let’s say that the great infinite consciousness has the form of a human body. Maybe I am a hand and you are the heart. Maybe my neighbor is a foot, and a stranger on the street is an ear.
We are all different pieces of the whole, we are all interconnected, and we all work together in harmony. However, we each have different jobs, different behaviors, different physical appearances, and different ways of being.
When I decide that I hate my neighbor, it is similar to the idea that my hand does not like my foot. They are different parts, yes, but they are of the same being, so when one hates the other, they hate themselves.
For me, to be angry with my neighbor is to deny their specific role in the totality that constitutes the greater consciousness of which we are both a part.
Perhaps his behavior is different from mine and perhaps he makes radically opposite decisions to mine. However, this is only because he has a different perspective on consciousness, and it’s his job to see things differently than I do.
Very often we get angry with other people for not being like us. For not carrying our values, our beliefs and our behaviors. However, if we begin to understand that other people play a valuable role in the totality of our greater selves, it becomes easier to accept their different perspectives, even when we don’t understand them.
The job of some people in grand consciousness is to explore consciousness. The job of some people in the big consciousness is to ignore the big consciousness.
It’s some people’s job to cheer up and be loving and kind, and it’s other people’s job to explore the darkness.
We are of infinite consciousness, after all, so there has to be an infinite number (and type) of perspectives if we are to maintain our infinite quality.
In other words, it’s okay for you to be a heart and it’s okay for me to be a hand. We both need each other, and we are both the same. After all, what if the hand convinced the heart to be like itself?
This would obviously create a huge disharmony and ultimately not benefit the hand in the slightest!
If we want to truly love ourselves, we have to come to love our big selves, and our big selves are made up of many different perspectives and pieces.
So the next time you get mad at your neighbor, your boss, or your friend, consider that he or she is indeed a part of you, but with a different set of responsibilities and a different set of roles.
It is their job to be unique, often in ways very opposite to yours or mine.
In order to experience harmony in our own lives, we have to allow each part of us to be what it is here to be. To truly love the totality of who we are, it is important to love ourselves and everyone we encounter, regardless of their choices and beliefs.
Be the best heart you can be and trust that the feet of the world know how to be feet!
In the end, we are all in this together, and we trust each other to achieve balance and harmony.